By Femi Fakayode
In the LAND OF FURY, a certain ATOHUNRINWA who poses himself as AKOBI LAAROYE began to torment the people. As yorubas will say, IBERE OGUN la mo, we took up the issue to ABEJOYE (THE KING MAKER), who later referred us to ABEJOYE (THE PEACEMAKER). He also suggested we engage AWON AKONI as well. Fear gripped us, we pleaded with IRANSE OBA to lead us, just for our safety. As we were going, THE BOOMERANG occurred. We had to hide at the ABATTOIR because IYANUOKE who has already lodged for THAT NIGHT IN ROOM 401 refused to let us in.
In our hideout, I saw GBAJUMO WERE beside me. I became A TENANT IN HELL, seeing a mad man by my side.
‘WHAT IF we involve the police force’, I said, but GBEMI reminded me that they were ON STRIKE. I brought out my phone to see ONE MISSED CALL from BROTHER JOSEPH, and also a LETTER FROM MY FATHER in the inbox.
My heart was BROKEN when I learnt that only 1 IN 50,000 survived a similar case many years back. I started hearing PEPESE. It was the daughter of a FAMILY NEXT DOOR who was a VICTIM OF DIVORCE, talking. I shouted ‘WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM’. She didn’t hear me cos she was engrossed in the pet talk. I wrote on LAIDE’S NOTE, “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR and keep quiet”, then threw the note at her.
After some hours, ATANDA ONILU came to rescue THE COUNSELLOR and his family with his car. As he was about to turn the IGNITION, I exclaimed, WHAT ABOUT ME! I pleaded that he comes back to rescue the rest of us too, but he claimed to have gotten only a little fuel at BLACK MARKET.
The FINAL CONTEST came when I peeped. I saw that the terrorist is only a KONKOMANIA, very small in stature. I didn’t believe my eyes at first. I told everyone to RIGHT MY WRONG by peeping too. We expressed a sigh of relief and agreed to launch an attack on him. Although it seemed like going into KINGDOM ANIMALIA, but we were determined to enter his LION’S DEN by ESCALADE. We joined our hands together, prayed to ENI TA KAN MOGI, and hence, we were victorious.
Other neighbouring towns and villages who couldn’t overcome ran to us, because they saw ours as a safe abode. So we declared the year our YEAR OF OVERFLOWING EXPANSIONS.